Everyone deserves to have a healthy and safe relationship, including YOU. And just because someone isn’t physically hurting you doesn’t mean they aren’t causing you harm.

You are not alone

  • 46% of heterosexual and 59% of LGBT youth experience emotional abuse from a dating partner.
  • 29% of heterosexual and 43% of LGBT youth experience physical dating violence.
  • The numbers are even higher for trans youth, with 89% experiencing physical dating violence and 61% having been sexually coerced.

Anyone can experience dating violence, but the burden is not shared equally across all groups. LGBTQ and BIPOC youth are disproportionately affected by many forms of violence, including dating violence.

Signs of abuse

If you’re unsure whether or not a situation or relationship is abusive, ask yourself does your significant other:

  • Mock you, belittle you, or make you feel small?
  • Think their feelings are more important than yours?
  • Become jealous when you want to see family or friends or are in certain social situations?
  • Control what you wear or how you look?
  • Text or call you repeatedly and get upset when you don’t answer?
  • Try to get you drunk or high?
  • Throw things at you or hit, kick, shove, strangle, or grab you?
  • Make excuses for their behavior, especially when they mistreated you?
  • Force you to have sex or perform any sexual acts when you don’t want to?
  • Pressure you to have sex to prove your love?
  • Make you feel afraid to end the relationship because they have threatened to hurt you, themself, or a loved one?
  • Control or restrict your use of birth control or condoms?

Get help

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, we encourage you to seek support and help with your relationship. LifeWire has a Youth Advocate who works directly with teens and young adults who have experienced dating violence. Call our 24-Hour Helpline at 425-746-1940 or check out our Youth Advocacy Flyer for more information.

Additional resources

Amaze: Learn accurate and inclusive information about sex, your body, and relationships.

It Gets Better: Offers student leaders resources, information, and more to support LGBTQ+ students everywhere.

King County Sexual Assault Resource Center (KCSARC): 24-hour resource line: 1-888-998-6423.

Know Your IX: Learn about your legal rights to safe education, free from gender-based harms (youth-led project).

loveisrespect.org: Learn about healthy/unhealthy relationships or contact a peer advocate by texting “LOVEIS” to 22522 or calling 1-866-331-9474.

National Suicide Prevent: 1-800-273-8255 Text: 741741. For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 1-800-273-8255.

New Beginnings Teen Page: Created by the domestic violence organization serving Seattle, find relationship tools, tips, and quizzes.

One Love: Learn about healthy/unhealthy relationships.

Scarleteen: Provides inclusive, comprehensive, supportive sexuality and relationships info for teens and young adults

Teen Link: Helpline: Chat online or text daily at 1-866-TEENLINK (833-6546) with a youth crisis specialist about bullying, drug and alcohol concerns, relationships, stress, depression or any other issues you’re facing. No issue is too big or too small! Calls and chats are confidential.

That’s Not Cool: Explore activities and resources to learn more and get support for dating violence.

Youth Eastside Services (YES): Provides mental health and substance use support to youth up to age 22 and their families in East King County. They also provide a weekly drop-in social support group for youth, established as a welcoming and affirming space for people exploring or seeking support for their identities.