The Facts of Domestic Violence
Power and Control
The Power and Control Wheel is a widely used tool developed to help explain the dynamics of domestic violence and intimate partner abuse. It visually represents the various tactics abusers use to exert power and control over their partners, showing that abuse is not just physical but often includes emotional, psychological, financial, and coercive elements.
At the center of the wheel are Power and Control. An abusive partner’s primary goal is to dominate. Surrounding the center are different abusive tactics including:
- Coercion and Threats – Making threats to harm, leave, or report the victim to authorities.
- Intimidation – Using fear through looks, gestures, destruction of property, or weapons.
- Emotional Abuse – Undermining self-esteem through insults, humiliation, or gaslighting.
- Isolation – Cutting the victim off from friends, family, work, school and support networks.
- Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming – Shifting responsibility for the abuse onto the victim.
- Using Children – Threatening to take children away, using visitation to harass.
- Economic Abuse – Controlling finances, restricting access to money, or preventing employment.
- Male Privilege (or Gender Privilege) – Treating one partner as inferior, enforcing rigid gender roles.
Surrounding the wheel are Physical and Sexual Violence. Not all abusive relationships involve physical violence, but it is often used to reinforce control.
Domestic violence is about more than just physical harm. It is about maintaining power over a partner through manipulation, fear, and coercion. Many of these tactics work together to trap survivors in abusive relationships that are difficult or even lethal to leave.
Addressing Common Misconceptions
Violence is NEVER a survivor’s fault.
Domestic violence is always a deliberate choice by the person trying to control their partner. It is never caused by a survivor’s behavior or actions.
It affects people of all genders and sexual orientations.
Domestic violence affects people of all genders and sexual orientations. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced physical violence from an intimate partner. While we have fewer statistics, we know that transgender and nonbinary people experience physical and emotional abuse at alarming higher rates.
It exists in all types of communities.
Domestic violence occurs among all types of families, regardless of income, religion, ethnicity, educational level, or race. However, racism, poverty, immigration status, and other inequities can make the risks even more severe for BIPOC and LGBTQ individuals.
Violence is not isolated.
Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior aimed at gaining and maintaining power and control over an intimate partner. Survivors often described it as a cycle. However, because the seriousness of abuse often escalates with each episode, many survivors describe the pattern as a spiral.
It can be hard for survivors to leave.
Leaving can end the violence. When it doesn’t, violence may become worse. Nearly half of women murdered by men in the U.S. had recently left or were trying to leave an abusive relationship at the time they were killed. Abuse may also leave survivors financially dependent upon their partner. Often, survivors have been isolated from friends and family who could offer help and support. Learn more about why people stay.
It isn’t just physical.
Many abusive relationships aren’t physically violent. Instead, survivors may experience emotional, financial, or sexual abuse. Learn more about domestic violence and different forms of abuse.
Drug and alcohol use doesn’t cause domestic violence.
Drugs and alcohol are often present in domestic violence situations, but they do not cause violence. The presence of drugs and or alcohol can make a domestic violence situation much worse.
Mental illness doesn’t cause domestic violence.
Many people suffer from mental health challenges, but far fewer people abuse their intimate partners. Mental health does not cause or excuse domestic violence.