This simple exercise can help you build healthy relationships

Woman smiling

You are worthy and capable of healthy relationships

That’s an empowering thought, and it’s 100 percent true. If you have a hard time believing it right now, don’t worry. It can take some patience and dedicated self-love to get there.

We recommend saying it aloud to yourself to help internalize it. Some words are the most powerful when they come from within ourselves. So give it a try! Take a deep breath and say to yourself, “I am worthy and capable of building healthy relationships.”

What does a health relationship mean to you?

Once you know you deserve a kind and loving relationship, it’s important to decide what that means to you. What is your ideal partner like? How will they treat you? Knowing what you want will make it easier to see when a date isn’t up to snuff.

Here’s a quick exercise to help you work it out:

Grab a sheet of paper and start brainstorming by asking yourself the following questions:

  • How do I want my future partner to treat me?
  • How do I want to feel around my future partner?
  • What qualities do I want my future partner to have?
  • What things are important to my future partner?
  • What are my relationship deal breakers?

Write all of your answers down in a list. Don’t worry about being too picky, or wanting too many things. It’s your life, and having high standards is both healthy and well within your rights. If it’s important to you, it goes on the list! (If you need some inspiration, the Equality Wheel will give you a good idea of what healthy relationships look like.)

Here’s a sample list to get you started. Feel free to use this as a starting point, and change it up to fit your goals.

My future partner:

  • is someone I can be myself around
  • treats everyone with respect
  • doesn’t pressure me into physical intimacy
  • is not controlling
  • stays in touch with me
  • wants to travel with me
  • loves nature
  • is trustworthy
  • is attentive when we’re together

Once you finish your list, it’s time for some real talk.

You just drew a blueprint of your ideal partner. Don’t let your hard work go to waste! Whether you’re on your 1st or 100th date, remember your list. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. You are worthy of the relationship you designed, and you will find it.